July 9, 2024

Ep. 74 Embracing Setbacks #resilience #faith

Thanks for listening. I appreciate your support. Say hi and let me know you enjoyed the episode. Also, suggest topics for a future episode.

Have you ever felt like setbacks have derailed your life's purpose? What if those very challenges are the stepping stones to your greatest growth? On this heartfelt episode of Words for Change, we blend the joy of Taco Tuesday with the profound journey of overcoming personal failures and systematic obstacles. From my own transition from pastorship to becoming a military chaplain, I share intimate reflections on the trials and triumphs faced in church planting and why community and faith are pivotal in navigating life's toughest moments. We also tackle the skepticism around spiritual leaders, especially in light of recent controversies, offering a balanced perspective on maintaining hope and integrity.

Join us as we explore the vital role resilience plays in both personal and societal transformation. Drawing inspiration from historical movements like the civil rights struggle led by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., we underline how enduring hardships can drive profound social change. We also discuss ongoing battles for gender equality and environmental justice, highlighting how individual growth fuels broader advancements. This episode is a call to embrace setbacks as opportunities for character development and community strength. And if you're curious about the intricate journey of church planting, don't hesitate to email—we might just dedicate an entire episode to it. Stay resilient, stay hopeful, and keep pushing forward.

Support the Show.

01:54 - Overcoming Setbacks and Finding Purpose

18:16 - Building Resilience for Change

26:19 - Developing Character Through Suffering

WEBVTT

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Hey everybody, this is Lionel.

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Welcome to Tuesday.

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Happy Tuesday.

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It is podcast Tuesday, hey, and it's also Taco Tuesday, man, I love Taco Tuesday, even though I had tacos last night on a Monday, because why I'm from Texas and tacos are good.

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Hey, welcome back to the Words for Change podcast, lionel.

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Here today I'm going to dive into a topic that resonates deeply with many of us.

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Many of us have overcome setbacks, and finding purpose when you're going through struggles like that can be a challenge sometimes.

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So, whether you're battling personal failure or facing systematic challenges, this episode is aimed to provide hope and guidance, and I just want to thank all of you for joining this conversation, and I want to pose a question to you.

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Have you ever felt like you were drowning in your setback, or you are drowning in your failure?

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You are questioning your purpose.

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You're questioning your purpose in life.

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I know what that feels like.

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I know what it can do to you when you you fall into doubting yourself.

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I know what it's like to wonder if you're going to make it through that time, because sometimes it's unending and doesn't stop.

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So, hey, I'm going to.

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We're going to explore that.

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We're going to explore that topic and how challenges are actually part of shaping us into the best version of ourselves.

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Okay, and I posted a video on YouTube about this.

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But this is this is not for YouTube, this is for you, our listener, because I know that there are some of us out there who are dealing with challenges, and if you have watched the news, like I have, you've seen a lot of pastors um are under the gun, so to speak, been criticized because of some of the the supposedly or allegedly behaviors.

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So it started out with, like kirk franklin, uh, bishop td jakes and that whole thing with P Diddy.

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Now I'm coming close to home for me with Dr Evans because, hey, I went to Oakley Bible Fellowship and my family.

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We love that church and that church has been very instrumental in our lives and it has been even before I got married In our lives, and it has been even before I got married.

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So post-marriage and now still, that ministry has been tremendous.

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Impact Matter of fact, when Pastor Evan's wife Lois passed away, it's a huge blow to my wife and I because we see them as distant mentors, and so these are definitely challenging times because people are starting to question whether or not you can trust spiritual leaders or pastors or churches, and this has always been a challenge.

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But whether you're facing that kind of challenge, or the pastor ministry or the pastoral industry is facing that challenge, or whether your challenge is very, very different, every challenge you face right is molding you into the person that you desire to be, and that's very important.

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That's important because we get lost, thinking we're the only person that are having the challenges that we experience, like we feel like we're the only one out there who's going through this challenge and we don't know what to do and we don't know how to deal with it.

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And it can.

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It can let us, it can make us feel like we're the only ones, the only person, or we're out on the island by yourself when you're going through that.

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So I'm going to share a personal story of my own life.

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Back in 2012, I felt called to start a church and I've been involved with church planning for quite some time.

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So, those of you who don't know me you're new to this I was a pastor for 20 years and then God called me out of the local church, so to speak, and into a chaplain.

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So I'm a military chaplain now for those of you who know.

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For those of you who don't know.

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Well, now you got some new information.

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So I felt a strong call back in 2012 to plant a church and I have been involved in several church plants up until that point and I was super excited, really excited, about the opportunity because I wanted to take.

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You know, my vision was to take a vibrant community that was rooted in the teachings of Jesus.

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At that time I was going through this particular time.

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I think I was going through my second master's degree, I can't remember, but my goal was to take a group of people who were intimately being taught through, like exegetical teaching, the words of Jesus and then taking those techniques and making tangible impacts in society, in the local community, where you could actually see for instance, jesus says feed the hungry, where you could actually see for instance, jesus says feed the hungry.

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Right that we would actually have programs where we go out and fed people on a regular basis.

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So that was the goal, right.

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And then to have it as a after participating in that tangible social project.

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Then reflect on that and let that reflection reflect on it as a community and let that reflection reflect on it as a community and then let that be that time of reflecting a platform for spiritual growth and perhaps then moving other people out from that church into other communities to do the same.

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So I was really really head forward, face forward, pressing to this concept, this idea, because I thought this would solve a problem Problem of people just coming to church just to be entertained and then leaving church and having no impact, having no input, like taking their faith and letting it be intertwined with their daily life and then letting it be intertwined with their activity, and the result of that intertwinement would be that they would begin changing their community for the better.

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So that was my goal.

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So I have been preparing to do this and this church plant was all about that.

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Um so, but as we began preparing our and I'll never forget this moment we were heading toward our church launch and I was super excited and I always use the phrase super excited I was.

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I was happy about it.

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You know you, there's a lot of preparation that goes.

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We had a core team met together for months and my home actually started in my apartment.

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We started out with our core team meeting, having fellowship with one another, developing relationship.

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So you'd meet people randomly and as you connected with them, you thought you know this person would be good, a good person who could possibly help us with this new venture.

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So you were getting buy in from other individuals, stakeholders, who would say you know what?

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I'm looking for?

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Religious community.

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I'm looking for a church.

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I like this pastor, I like this family, I like their morals, I like his belief system.

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I want to connect myself with that.

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So we begin to prepare.

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So we have private meetings I don't know, maybe three, four months, maybe six months before, and then, as we prepared, as we began preparing and if you don't know anything about church planning, man, as you, there's a lot of preparation that goes into that.

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There's finances and money that has to be put aside for that, people that you have to bring on board, you have to find a facility, and that includes, if you're, if you talk about property, buying real estate, if you're renting facilities, contracts have to be signed.

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I mean, there's a lot that goes into the process.

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So we were preparing for our first service and some of my key volunteers started to back out.

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I mean key volunteers.

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Now, these are people who had we had gone out and evangelized and I know that's probably a weird phrase to use today, but we had went out, man and we had evangelized, like put flyers out.

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I don't know if you've ever been to like a club, right, but when you come outside your car at the end of the night and there's a sticker hanging on your windshield, well, we were the people out there putting flyers up.

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Hey, there's a church coming up.

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Here's our launch, very first service on this day.

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And it was a technique to launch a brand new church on Easter Sunday, because this is when people who typically don't go to church go to church.

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So we were super prepared.

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I mean, we had signed contracts, we had people on board, we had purchased music equipment, we had put a music leader on our payroll worship leader.

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I mean we had a lot of pieces moving, we had people from the community supporting us, we had a marketing budget.

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So I'm not going to tell you how much was spent, but it was a lot of money.

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So right before the service, the night, actually the night before, some of my key volunteers started calling me and saying you know what, I don't think I want to participate, and they didn't even have actually let me back up.

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They didn't even call me.

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They text me.

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Think about that.

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Yes, we did text during that time.

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This is back in 2012.

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So they text me.

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And this was difficult because I had to get up the next morning and put out those banners.

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Because we had a volunteer.

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His or her main job was to put out the banners on the street, signs on the street, arrows pointing church.

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This way, we met at an elementary school, a cafeteria, so there was banners and signs put on outside of the church, so as people drove by, they could see, oh, there's a church meeting and this was a vibrant, growing community surrounding the church.

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So the community was surrounding the school, which was ideal for church planners.

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Right, if you want to start a church, go to a school, rent out facilities.

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Why?

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Because everybody has to take their kids to the school.

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So it was a marketing ploy as well.

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So I had someone call me, the guy who was supposed to set up these banners at five 30 in the morning, text me and says I'm not going to make it, I can't put out the banners.

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And I received that text message and, man, it just floored me.

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I received that text message and, man, it just floored me because I couldn't believe someone would do that to me, or just like I would never do that.

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I would never do that to a young pastor who was just now starting out.

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I would at least said hey, you know, I am going to do this now, I'll help you get started, but 90 days after that I'm out of here.

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You know, just something out of pure like concern, care and professionalism Because, by the way, I thought we were friends right, particularly if you think these people are friends.

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So I felt betrayed and I felt in despair and I remember Jeremiah 29, 11, kept coming to mind.

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I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, to not harm you, plans to give you hope in the future.

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So I don't know about you, but if you've ever had that kind of experience or something very similar to that, it can unearth you what I mean byarthing.

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It can make you feel like you stepped over the edge of the Grand Canyon and there's nothing under your feet.

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You're suspended in midair and you're falling and there's nothing there to catch you.

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So it's a very, very traumatic experience that I went through and I had many other experiences.

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I mean I could do a whole series went through and I had many other experiences.

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I mean I could do a whole series.

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Matter of fact, if you, if you're interested in this and this makes sense to you, just send me an email.

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You can actually send an email.

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Actually, if you look listening to this through the Buzzsprout podcast app or podcast page I don't know if they call it app or page Then there's a fan mail link where you can click it and then send an email if you have a question, or, yeah, it makes sense, or I've had that experience.

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So please send a message if this connects you.

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If you want to know more about this whole experience I got a lot of stories about church planting Then I would love to share that with you and have you talk back to me.

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So back to Jeremiah 29 and 11, you know God's plans.

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What I learned from that experience was this very, very important fact that God's plans can often include failure and trial, and I know that's easier said than done, but God's plans can often include trials, can often include failure, can often include difficult moments, and somehow these moments are not meant to harm us.

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According to.

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If you take Jeremiah 29 and 11, you exegete that scripture say OK, bailey, what does that have to do with me?

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Well, jeremiah 29 and 11 says that, even as I was going through that experience.

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That experience wasn't meant to harm me, but grow me, got that harm.

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It wasn't meant to harm you, but grow me.

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Jesus used the example too, and this is very interesting.

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But grow me.

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Jesus used the example too, and this is very interesting.

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In the gospel Jesus told.

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In Matthew, jesus gave an example.

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He said unless a seed falls into the ground and dies, it can't bear fruit.

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Now that's a powerful statement to me, because what that tells me is that sometimes, in order for us to grow, things need to die in our lives.

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In order for us to grow, things need to die in our life.

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And this process of death is kind of a rebirth.

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It's a painful one, but it's a rebirth because it does mature you.

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And I'm going to tell you something at the end.

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I'll just say it now because it makes sense, it fits along with the story.

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So I was sitting in church the other day and I don't know about you, but when you sit, when you work with churches and you've done everything, you know about all the dog and pony show, or, if you know how things work where I sit at in church, you see the stage, but then you can see everything that happens backstage before people come on.

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And every time I see that I'm reminded.

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I know exactly what's, I know what the next song is going to be, I know that someone's going to come out and announce it and there's going to be a prayer and someone's going to say the right words.

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I mean, I can.

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I know exactly what's going to happen in a church service before it happens.

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And then the spirit said to me do you think you could ever do that again?

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Do you think you could ever pastor again with all the wisdom and knowledge you have now, when you, if there were you coming on to the stage backstage, about to come on front stage and make, whether that's, announcements, or lead the congregation in prayer or whatever the case may be, could you do that now, with the experience?

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How much more substance would you have in your life if you did that?

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And that was a powerful, I mean man.

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It really, really, really.

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It really spoke to me.

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And so, reflecting upon that process of death, death brings regrowth.

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It can make you a painful experience, as it was.

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It can help you to grow and become a better person.

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So, as I reflected on this, I realized that hardship is a, it does one, it builds resiliency.

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That, as we go through struggles, it teaches us to trust God and not people, to trust God's plan, not our plan.

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The fact that that, as as you, so as you think about that experience, think about whatever you're going through, how can it make you a better person, how can it make you a person of more depth that has more depth in your character?

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You a person of more depth that has more depth in your character, right?

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So y'all know that here's a part of our episode is a social change moment, or words for change moment.

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Here's the words for change moment.

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So, during the civil rights movement, right, that movement was born out of resiliency.

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So if you take that story I just gave you about my personal experience, that's a micro level.

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But if I take that to a macro level, in other words, how do I now take that experience?

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And if I'm interested in helping the community, which is what we are interested in with Words for Change, that's what change is all about.

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Podcast, we're about how our faith impacts community.

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So, if we take that example of how, through hardship and difficulties, things can birth new birth, new things, new ideas, new dreams, new dreams, new visions are born out of this kind of resiliency.

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Take civil rights movement, for instance.

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Leaders like martin king and others face a lot of setbacks, but their faith was unwavering and their resiliency transformed society.

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How can your resiliency transform your home, your relationship right?

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And People have been married for many years.

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I've always, always like to tell individuals that I counsel with in my, in my, my work and that if you see a couple that's been married for 15, 20, 30, 40 years, there's a lot of pain and resiliency that happens.

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What you're seeing now doesn't mean that you know the happiness that you see or the affection that you see in a couple who's been together for a very long time.

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It hasn't always been that way.

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There's a lot of resiliency required to get them to that point.

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So there's a quote that says justice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

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Dr King said that.

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So that quote was a very powerful motivator for why you do what you do.

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So if you're going through hardship on a micro level, right Resiliency can be used on a macro level.

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Wherever there's pushback, there's a level of resiliency that is required in order for you to transform society.

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But you have to have a motivator for that, and for Dr King, it was justice.

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Justice was a motivator, making the world A just place for everyone.

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So this quote highlights the interconnectedness of struggling your struggle, my struggle.

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All the same, it talks about the fight against injustice.

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We're not just advocating for ourselves, but we're advocating for a better world.

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I would argue that the Christian gospel is all about that kind of advocation, not just for ourselves but for the entire world.

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Consider the fight for gender equality.

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Women have faced systematic oppression for centuries, yet their resiliency changes society.

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Right, securing Voting Rights Act, the 1963, I think, 63, 64 Voting Rights Act came through struggle, breaking the glass ceiling Right and in so many different ways.

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Once again, resiliency can help birth or bring something forward that is more beautiful.

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But our work is deeper than that right.

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It includes the world, it includes a global society.

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It includes, you know, get rid of, you know, racial inequalities and includes getting rid of financial inequalities.

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It includes all of these things.

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This is the change moment.

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This is this is what Words to Change podcast is about.

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It's about the individual, personal growth that then leads to social growth or community growth, and then state, nation, world.

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It just continues to grow.

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So that's our change moment for the Words to Change podcast.

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I want you to think about how resiliency can help birth something new.

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So, whatever you're going through now, it's not the end.

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Now let's talk about resiliency in a different context.

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You could talk about the fight for, if you're an environmental justice person low income, housing, environmental let's think about.

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Remember the I don't know if you remember the situation in Flint, michigan, with the water crisis and the disproportionate impact it had on people's physical health that people were drinking water with lead in it.

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Hey, christians have something to say about that.

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The gospel has something to say about that, right?

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So that's really, really important how our struggles on an individual level.

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We learn that resiliency.

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We have to struggle.

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There's some death, there's some pushback that comes when we try to do the right thing.

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Paul, the apostle, said whenever I want to do good, evil is always present with me.

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This is an individual.

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I'm talking about how individual morality struggles or individual resiliency.

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You can take that, as you become more resilient, now you can go out into your community and start advocating as well, or in your neighborhood or in your friend group, right?

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All of these things are super important, ok, so all of these are examples, but one thing is clear Resiliency is key.

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It's about facing setbacks, learning from them, continuing to push forward.

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It's not just an individual trait, but it can become resiliency can also become a collective trait, shaping communities, societies and worlds.

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This is very, very, very important.

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So I want to encourage you that, if you have your own story, just click the fan mail button or send me a message.

00:23:12.680 --> 00:23:17.636
Lloyd Lloyd at Lloyd Talks Media dot com.

00:23:17.636 --> 00:23:21.675
Lloyd at Lloyd Talks Media dot com.

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Or you can click the link and my email should be included in the show notes.

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I would love to hear about your story of resiliency.

00:23:30.356 --> 00:23:32.097
Ok, I would love to hear about your story of resiliency.

00:23:32.097 --> 00:23:33.161
Ok, I would love to hear about you.

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So, if you're feeling overwhelmed, if your personal setbacks are getting the best of you, remember this your challenges are shaping you into a greater person.

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So, therefore, embrace what you're going through.

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Trust the process.

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Know that you're not alone.

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Family, you're going through.

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Trust the process.

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Know that you're not alone.

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Family, you're not alone, okay.

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Whether you're fighting a personal battle or standing in the gap for social justice, or however, you determine that whatever makes sense to you, resiliency can make the difference in the world.

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Dr King said the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.

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That means right will ultimately win.

00:24:15.913 --> 00:24:18.836
Okay, so, hey, on Taco Tuesday.

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This is July 9th, so good to hear and speak with you today.

00:24:23.390 --> 00:24:26.096
And hey, that's it for this episode.

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As we wrap it up, I want to encourage you to reflect on the challenges that are shaping your life and how those experiences can create more positive change.

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Right, if you found this message helpful, hey, stay tuned for our next episode.

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This is a special episode.

00:24:43.924 --> 00:24:48.415
I hadn't planned on putting it out, but I just felt it was the right thing to do.

00:24:48.415 --> 00:24:50.320
But I just felt it was the right thing to do.

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Okay, we're going to continue to dive deeper into how suffering can help develop your character.

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We're going to do that.

00:24:57.109 --> 00:25:05.314
And if you want to hear more about that church planting story, just send me an email and we'll have another episode, and I will even dedicate that episode to you.

00:25:05.314 --> 00:25:09.554
Okay, so until next time, remember that every setback is set up for a comeback.

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Stay resilient, stay hopeful, keep the faith, keep fighting, Keep pushing forward.

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This is Lionel signing off.

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Salute and I'm out.