#40 The Power of Forgiveness. How to Let Go of the Past and Move Forward

you know you're happy to be with me for those who don't know me my name is Lionel I am a friend to many a confidant

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to a very few and I help people through spiritual growth personal growth leading to social change but before we get to

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social change I hold to this one true motto nothing changes until you change

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first that's what we do and I do that through podcasting public speaking workshops do one-on-one counseling and

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want to know you want to get connected not if you always know but if you want to know how to connect with me more just

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make sure you hit the Subscribe button send me a message all my information is there for you I want to connect with you

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all right so we got a great show becoming that's coming to you momentarily but before we do go ahead

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and hit that smash smash that like button grab your cup of coffee your favorite drink so we can get rolling

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y'all ready let's go

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all right I here we go we are here hey Susan what's happening

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oh my gosh Lionel that was like an incredible opening

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that was cool bro we'll put some work into this thing we love what we do you know what I'm saying I'm super excited

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about interviewing you being with you especially that I found out that you

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have experience as a triathlete [Laughter] we have something in common right we

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both you know these Sports and so forth and so on so that's cool though how you

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doing today I am as excited as you are almost

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to be here is it too is the energy too much

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all right so listen I tell you what go ahead on and just you

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know I am uh there's so many things I want to ask you and I know that people are listening are like man

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um how do you know this person well me and Susan just met each other but I

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feel like there's some kind of connection we have so I want people to know who you are but uh I got some

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questions I want to ask you to kind of break the ice a little bit you cool with that yeah let's try it

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what's your favorite color green green all right all right uh what's your

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favorite food or restaurant Pasta Pasta Pasta

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my kitchen is my favorite yeah my kitchen is my favorite restaurant

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you cook a lot oh I'm terrible my partner

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ah all right okay so what's your favorite book or the your the quote you live by

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favorite book or quote you live by uh well I'll just give you a quote Yeah

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the answer is yes until it is no

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the answer oh wow I gotta think about that for a minute it's deep right

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very yeah uh wow answer is no until okay

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all right answer no no no I'm writing it down Susan the answer the answer is yes

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Lina until it is no do you know how much opportunity I've gained just following

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that little one oh I got it I just wrote it down the

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answer is yes yes until there's a no all right okay all right so what's your

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favorite state University Pennsylvania

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I don't know why I just spit that right out I grew up there and couldn't wait to get out here I am loving Pennsylvania

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oh man uh I'm from Texas oh okay so is that your favorite state

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though um well my favorite state is New York because I like lights camera action

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I love that I love that kind of stuff I don't I've always had a just a natural love for the lights the

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big city the movement the energy it just excites me for sure yeah you and me both we we are similar I

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can't wait to get to New York City growing up I couldn't wait oh really

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okay so here's my last final question

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they're remote [Laughter]

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this is good okay so if you had

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one person to meet

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and on Earth if one person who would that be Harriet Tubman

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Harriet Tubman yeah wow why Harriet Tubman like I just I just that woman I

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don't know maybe I was her in a past life but just her tenacity her bravery

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her compassion her fearlessness her determination her

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strength yeah Harriet Tubman wild right wow no that's that's awesome that's

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awesome my my number one person would be Martin King Martin Luther King Jr for

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sure hands down yeah okay so Susan

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what are we talking about today

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you grew up in a religious religious

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[Music] so what was that experience like was it was it like it was great for the

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discipline break for the faith but it was really fluffed up Lionel when

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it came to the patriarchal system and I

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would sit in the Pew and I just knew some of that stuff was mixed up and

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mislabeled wow so it was a negative experience for you then

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maybe not all of it not all of it but it was and it was a big part of my life but

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like the guilt I had for knowing you know Sister Sister Consuelo was teaching

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the first communion class and she pointed her finger right at me and that

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finger was round like a sausage and she was short and stout and like holding it

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together and about four foot eight and just stuck that sausage finger right at

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me on that hard cold metal chair with that gray flecked linoleum floor beneath

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my little patent leather suit feet and she said you

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caused God's son to die it was you and he will never forgive you for that

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dude I was like in my in my 50s when I realized I was still living with that

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shame and poor wow wow so what were you uh was this uh

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what what was the religious affiliation was it Catholic well we'll just we'll just yeah okay the gas and and your

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viewers can guess okay okay name that man-made religion

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name that man-made religion you know um that's that's a that's a man

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that was sealed into your mind experiences like that did you have one in one of those kind of experiences or

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was it just repetitive oh it was it was many of those experiences and and I

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didn't believe that to be true it just it felt flawed to me and then I stepped

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away for a minute and I tried to go back this was in college

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um but it just felt hypocritical um yeah just some of it just felt messed

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up wow wow so so uh wow what what so Susan

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where are you you're originally from PA right Pennsylvania is that correct yeah yeah I grew up in central Pennsylvania

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it was football country where I know yeah oh yeah for sure for sure for sure

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and so for those who are listening would you would you be so kind to just tell folks who you are what they know your

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name Suzanne gold which is an awesome name it's like really really awesome name that sounds like a professional

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like world-class name Suzanne go I kept thinking about putting like a little

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gold plated background to your name to kind of make it pop a little bit but uh

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yeah a lot of folks know who you are too late I'm not that fat

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I can't do it it won't look good I promise you I'll mess something up but uh let folks know who you are

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you know who you are what you do yeah please do so I'm an author I First Time author I

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just published or I didn't publish it my publisher published my memoir and I grew

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up in a very small town in central Pennsylvania I was the middle of five kids with two pseudo adults doing the

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best they could at the home and uh it was so good I left the morning after I

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graduated from high school and I really went back long [Laughter]

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wow wow so so what was your journey like after uh After High School

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you know I just made it happen I had angels all around me they did not leave

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my side um I could not wait to get to New York City I used to watch Barbara Walters on

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my bean bag chair in my basement my belly and I was like I'm gonna go to New York and be like that woman and I got

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myself to New York and I needed a little side job so I started personal training

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and guess who was my client Lionel who is that

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Barbara Walters what Barbara Walters wow yeah how was that

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how how was it working with Barbara Walton Walter so first she's a girls girl she she would have she would have

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loved you she's just really was fun and very intuitive and she was a gifted

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interviewer for a reason I rang her doorbell at 7am one morning and she's like

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Susan get in here what is going on wow and um she um she got it out of me I

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was working for an agent it was he and I in a studio apartment um he had left the large talent agency I

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was assisting him at and asked me to join him and I did because I knew I'd learn how to negotiate Talent deals and

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it was a huge opportunity but he had a little sexual addiction and used to invite young actresses in and excuse me

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and then tried the same thing on me that he was trying on them and I grabbed my

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stuff and ran out of there and was still rattled the next morning and Barbara said to me

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I'm coming with you this morning and we're confronting this gentleman and

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I said thank you so much I think I've got it covered and I did confront him

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that day and he said do you have all your stuff and I'm like yep and he goes great you're fired see ya

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wow so yeah I had um probably two and a half

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months of money in the bank and I was 25 living in New York City on my own I had

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just extricated myself from an abusive relationship um and I'm embarrassed to say I was in

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it because the gentleman was holding the purse strings but I had to face facts and stood up and opened my own Talent

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brokerage firm my first deal was to go down to the factory and knock on the door and convince Andy Warhol to do a

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commercial for Pontiac

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did you say you had no idea wait wait wait wait did you just say what I

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thought did you just say Andy Andy Warhol did I just hear that come

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out of your mouth you did okay if you guys okay first of all

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if you don't know who Andy just go Google Andy Warhol okay probably if not

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what would you say how would you describe Andy as a person who who you've met Angie Andy

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uh uh I like John boscott Basia like so I liked his art so he got his

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inspiration right he worked with so how was that experience working with

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a genius in the art world well

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first of all I couldn't get anybody to answer at the factory so I had to flip down there on the subway and knock on

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the door and Fred Andy's manager answered and I told him why I was there and he said come back tomorrow at the

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same time I like to talk to Andy so I did and I was sitting in the little foyer they had in the Brownstone and all

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of a sudden these double doors open and it was dark in there and line oh I was like scared to go in there

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wow and he's like Andy will see you now okay so I go in there and there's this

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like pin Spotlight coming down on this platinum hair that's going seven different directions and he's scribbling

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with colored pencils and like intensely and these three three pugs are running

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around the studio in here grabbing on his pants leg and he's picking up the pugs and he could care less

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about why I was there and what I was yammering on about he didn't even look me in the eye Lionel and then finally

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he's like oh stops he looks up he looks me in the eye which is a little scary

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and he said now really why should I do this and I paused

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and I said because you can have the pugs in the shot with you

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um and he's like all right I'll do it done done deal

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so so how did you did you were you composed like talking to him like what was the uh emo like I'm just interested

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to know did you were you familiar with him before

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you had this well I knew I knew who he was but I had never met him just like I

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never met Walt Frazier like I had a limo ride down Fifth Avenue with him taking

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him to some gay guy booked you know I don't know what it is I just had I had a

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lot of training as a classical dancer which gave me voice and composure and

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also you never knew what was going to fly at you literally in my household

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I was also quite intuitive um it was a survival skill and I was a

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super and still am a super empath so I can sort of read the energy of people

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um and I can feel pain I can feel Joy I can feel

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you know uncertainty in people it's it's very simple and it's it's fun for me so

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and celebrities are no different than you and me they put their pants legs on one at a time they just have to do it in

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public right but you know there there's something about uh meeting celebrities people who have

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accomplished great things or people that you maybe admire you you admire their work

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you admire their contributions to humanity um and not only do you admire but there

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are millions of other people who admire so you know if you know I've met some

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I've never met people well maybe but uh you know I've met some Louis Jr Denzel

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Washington you know the and and my experience with them was

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very very welcoming warm um you know they is almost like hey yeah

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man I love to talk to you very very low-key I met some entertainers before obviously some athletes so uh one of the

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things that always stuck with me is that they wanted to hear

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everything I said from the very beginning of my being introduced to them

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in other words they didn't say anything they just stopped greet it and and they

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just waited for me to talk and I don't know if that's kind of like a you know it kind of throws you off

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right like you said I can read energy as well I do not consider myself an empath I have very little knowledge about that

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uh although one of my friends also considers herself an empath so

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um but um sometimes the energy that I get when I meet these individuals it's

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almost as if the way they control that energy when they interact with you is something

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to be admired right you know that they are you know they're typically busy people or have a lot

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going on in their lives and they're they're going from one person to the next right one person to the next and so

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it always caught me sort of by surprise even though having met uh famous or uh

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well-known people before the response was always the same they'd look at me

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greet me and just wait for me to talk sometimes I'm still Star Struck right

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I'm like you know okay uh Hi and then you fumble over your words

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as you go so uh tell us a little bit about you know your your experience

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um as much as you would love to tell about how you grew up what led you to the path

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that you are right now how did you begin this path which is a really interesting story we're going to talk about

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uh your book and your as an author and what you do there but what what's your what's what I mean what

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gives for you what motivates you like what is it that that makes up Suzanne

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gold hmm well that's not a light question

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oh yeah we're gonna dive in right yeah

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honestly honestly I'm a human being here to experience this

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intense ecstatically beautiful

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incredibly pain-filled world and I am interested in knowing other

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people and I am interested in Sharing soothing

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and peace and kindness and I want to know your

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story before I share mine you wanna you you wanna know so those

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who are listening right when they when they meet you as you're signing your book for them

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when they meet you you want to know their story

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totally totally and and I'm much more interested in the everyday person's

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story than I am in squiring Steven Spielberg around the set honestly

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why is that important to you why is it important that you know people's story

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because I think I've walked through a lot of pain I faced abuse of every sort

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and I think that's not uncommon and I think it's something that remains Lionel

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fairly closeted I'm okay everything's fine I'll get through this I'm gonna make it

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and I think that there's a need for an outlet and actually I find our stories Reverend

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and holy and sacred and I believe I came to this world

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specifically to be born into the family that I was born into to have the parents

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that I did to have the siblings that I did to have the experiences that I did

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and honestly they were born into the families that they were I mean this was

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in the lineage hurt and abused children

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raising hurt and abused children and I

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believe that I came to walk through that and to find healing for it and freedom

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and not replicate that further yeah so what was the uh would you mind

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maybe shared maybe one of your experiences for for listeners and people who are watching right they wanted to

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make a connection with you so what is an experience that you've gone through and

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learned from and uh My Hope Is that someone listening and watching will make

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that connection um because people are dealing with all kinds of things depression

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suicide ideation as a matter of fact I just got a phone call right before

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uh we connected uh here about someone who was found on the in a you know at

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the hospital going to the emergency so as soon as I leave here I'm going to the hospital to see someone so uh people are

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going through all kinds of issues and traumas and they don't know

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how to get through it what would you I mean how can they make that connection with you how can you help them give them

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some advice well first of all I have suffered with clinical depression I have

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trauma still trapped in the cells of my being from my past and not just my

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childhood and adulthood too I think you know it's part of being a human being some of us have more of it than others

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and some of us have better coping skills but I had to understand it first I had

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to understand that that was part of my trajectory and I had to accept it and

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then I got help for it and then I came to understand how to

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work with it and um I would say the Pinnacle experience

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where everything got brought together and I was truly tested was when the man

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that I loved who I consider my greatest Guru his mask dropped

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and um he folded his arms and his eyes went

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into those lizard-like slits and he said I'm hiring an attorney and I'm filing for divorce and

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it was a year of Hell while he stayed in the master bedroom of a home I had

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bought and purchased and maintained for our family while I was on a mattress on

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the floor of a partial conversion in the garage

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and that was the metaphor for the marriage and that was what I was allowing because

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I was afraid to step fully into my power and not rely on the codependent behavior

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of feeling like I needed a man to survive and the last two months of that

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circumstance got really heated I'm a long time meditator I know how to

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hold silence and to get through this circumstance I had to hold silence and

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no eye contact meaning no physical eye contact

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for one year while we shared the same structure I can't even call it a home

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then and I had to be strong and step up and

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all my training all that endurance athleticism I had to hold that focus and

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I had to trust and that little partial conversion in the garage I had to create

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that as my Monastery and I had to go in and I could not point the finger out and

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I could not become a victim to what I saw as really unjust circumstances I had

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to stand up and I had to see why I was in that

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circumstance and then I had to step up and be willing

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to do what it took to extricate myself completely riddled with fear

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and I did have that suicidal depression come up again and luckily I had

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experience so I set up a friend for each day of the week and I would make a call and if I was

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suicidal and that person wasn't available I made a commitment to call

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the next person on the list and get help and that's what brought me through the

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tail end of that circumstance and within one calendar year I was able

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to write the six figure check and that gentleman went on and found his next

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source of supply [Music] that that's uh does it make you

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uncomfortable having that conversation at least you're living here I'm happy to share it because I know

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there's somebody listening that needs help and they need strength to stand up

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and I needed to hear other people's stories on how they got through and the

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other thing that makes me feel uncomfortable is sharing the truth about who the man that I loved and supported

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for over 15 years truly truly is but I

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do see him as a guru I appreciate the lesson that

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he delivered I do not engage with him but I don't wish him ill and I don't I

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don't even hold him responsible he can't see any differently he's doing the best

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he can and I have tremendous gratitude for the role that he played just like I

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have tremendous gratitude for the rules my parents played in my little movie

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it's helped me step up do you know how much Soul Evolution I've had on this

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this life journey I think next time I'll read the fine print dang it

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well you know the the the uh the what comes to my mind is

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there's a lot in there's a lot to unpack there right I mean for as you were

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talking and telling your story my mind just began to imagine the pain the

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isolation the loneliness of maybe some some moments of confusion anger I mean

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you probably went through every emotion of you know and then you know there's

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trust there's there's doubts there's lies there's there's so much going on you know

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um how did you find it I mean like I think is a great idea you had people

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on standby so to speak that you could reach out to when you need it and then you had

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someone else in the wing in case your first or second choice wasn't available

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so I think that's a great concept and I and I hope our listeners if you're going

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through something like that then that's a great lesson a great uh example of getting the help you need and going

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through the process was it was it difficult to to I just wonder was it difficult to let some people know what

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you were going through I felt she was a reputation or like was

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that you know obviously you were a gifted individual you've done some great

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things are doing some great things have interacted with some great people were you concerned about your reputation

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in other words I don't want people to know that I'm having this experience so I've been really honest and

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straightforward but I also know who it's safe to be open with who can sort of

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handle it and who can't and I've been careful with those boundaries very careful there was shame around it

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especially you know there's no avoiding that circumstance there's no it took

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that kind of billboard to fall on my head to really wake me up to to what the

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truth was and what I was carrying to feel okay so I think it was

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embarrassing to reveal that but ultimately I was inspiring people

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right so did you so is so you said something as well you was like Hey I

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don't even blame the person who did this you gotta you gotta break

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that down how did you get to that place and you actually refer to this person as

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a did you say did you use the word Mentor or Guru oh you got it yeah Susan you got to help

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us with that yeah yeah I did and that is really how I feel

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I mean look at me Lionel most people would still be in victim and Martyr mode

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and I'm not gonna waste the energy that way that would be like me eating the rat

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poison right and expecting him to fall fall dead no way

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thank you I was in an unhappy circumstance and did not know how to extricate myself

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I had no authentic partnering I was carrying my partner and I was tired

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and I needed to wake up to the fact that I could walk away and be successful and

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finally it makes no sense it's got to be some past life energy coming through keeping me in a cage I was pulling my

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more than my fair share in most of my relationships with my partners and still

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feeling like I couldn't survive and I had to break

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that understanding and this gentleman helped me do that I am free I am free

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why you know no Susan I there is a

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famous um there's a quote well most people know I'm a reverend right so there there's a

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quote in the Bible in Romans chapter 8 verse 8 it says God calls us can calls

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not God calls us all things but can cause things to work out for good in other words it's

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not that God made this happen but somehow that experience can be

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turned around and used for good somehow some way

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that bad experience can be turned around and used for good but it's hard to see that Susan like when you're going

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through it when you're going through that you're not thinking about man this is going to be this is going to

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be a great lesson I'm going to learn some things you know you're you're I mean most people are like I just need to

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get out of this I need to you know I need to run away I need to get the get away from this experience so you know it

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takes a lot of Courage and people need to understand the level of Courage it takes

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to say what you are saying about your experience through someone who literally

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made your life a living hell it sounds like to me

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I mean it was time to step out of it and I did Coach myself yes I was in a rage

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and I was using tools to release that rage but I had to even if I didn't

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believe it I had to say I am grateful for the experience you are delivering I

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am grateful for the Insight you are delivering I am grateful for the

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opportunity you are providing me to take my

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authentic power back and be truly free

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that is a gift and that's how I had to coach myself Lionel through that thing

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and after and when the anger came up I

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sent prayers his way I sent goodness his way even when I didn't feel it

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I sent that all his way and you would not believe the Miracles

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that I witnessed and I didn't do it because I wanted to be a good girl for

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the treats that God was going to give me if I didn't

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all right now you dropped whoa okay all right Whoa man ah my brain is like

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there's so many thoughts coming to mind right one you said a lot one you said I

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didn't do it for the treats in other words I'm laughing because that's what a lot

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of people do right I'm gonna get this it's almost like countering to it's like

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counter Human Nature to not want something

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either bad to happen to the person who made your life a living hell

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right you know get that we call it in religious world we call it um vengeance

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Vengeance let me you know that that kind of this person is gonna get this this is

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gonna happen to them because of what they did to me but then you also said

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that you did not you you you you you you didn't allow

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that to just in to eat you up internally and make you like pull you outside of

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who you are wishing and hoping to become while going through that

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people can't deal with that right people that's that's not how people function what makes you so

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special here can I just tell you can I just tell you

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my sister and I were playing my sister and I were playing with little kennels they were these little dolls and

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I didn't want to give her little kiddo back and we had a little votive candle lit on this trunk in the bedroom and

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she's like give me my little Kettle back and I'm like no I'm not gonna give it back to you and she shoved my head

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backwards and my hair caught on fire right what and yeah my hair is on fire and she's

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like oh my God your hair's on fire so I start like Drop tuck and roll like they show you the elementary school

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dude that was that was the the initiation I am here to light people's

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hair on fire and look at things from a totally different perspective

40:11

um because there there's something to be learned it's it's almost like you're

40:17

transcending when you when you're able to function in that way what is it what I mean by

40:23

function when you're able to not hold people captive by what they've done to you or hurt you

40:29

when you're not when you're able to get beyond that in a way that you then began

40:35

to Hope good things because you also said I didn't I've sent prayers

40:41

I prayed for this person that's that's like Tran that's another

40:48

form of it's like an evolution of human releasing relationship how do you relate

40:56

to people now and religiously I understand what you're saying right because Jesus talked about that

41:02

right so like and not just Jesus like Buddha uh a lot of the great spiritual

41:08

teachers of of past and present talked about the power of I think you're

41:14

calling it The Power of forgiveness right not holding people captive about what they've done to you somehow that

41:21

frees you as well do because you're not you're not holding

41:27

them captive you're not holding them captive you're holding you

41:33

captain to that circumstance get that one it's a hard lesson to get

41:41

but man is that freeing that is power

41:46

but but but you I want them to suffer [Laughter]

41:52

I want them to suffer I want them to understand the level of pain they

41:58

inflicted on my life I want them to to experience what I experience

42:06

and not only that I don't want them to do it to someone else because they are they're going to prey

42:12

on someone else and treat other people the same and they're contributing to the

42:18

negative experience of human relation like the worst part of human nature

42:24

comes out of these people I mean help us

42:34

out for the next quote-unquote victim I

42:39

feel like she and I made some kind of Soul contract before we came in and and she she stepped in to to serve in that

42:47

role honestly Lionel we all came in to learn some kind of

42:54

lessons we did it's it's everybody's got their path

42:59

and this this next woman has her path and guess what it's not for me to go

43:06

save and Rescue I mean yeah it's painful

43:12

so it all has purpose right so you would say then you walk with him through their

43:19

path whatever that path may be I'm just going to walk with you through

43:27

this path all right wow such profound lessons you have

43:34

learned you are teaching all of us um

43:40

so how how are you helping people tell us a little bit about as we transition

43:47

tell us about your book uh we want to know what that book's about or at least give a teaser

43:55

so that those who are interested will want to go and get a copy of that book

44:00

[Laughter] well that that book is

44:07

as God said I just have to say I did not want to write that book I was told in

44:13

2007 that I had a book to write it was going to help a lot of people and I just pooped it I was like I don't want to go

44:18

through that for a PR told no thank you and then I got told twice more I was told I have three books to write so I

44:24

thought I better get going before before I have a whole library to write but

44:30

um that book is is my personal and professional trajectory and the story is

44:36

is a true tale and it's wonderful but what I really um hope that people access is the

44:44

workbook that's in the appendix of the book and people are using that workbook

44:49

these are actual tools that I used help find my way to help find Healing to

44:57

help find peace and to help me stay strong to stand up to what my life was

45:02

bringing to me so um yeah I I really encourage people

45:09

um to take advantage of it if if they're able yeah yeah so for those who are listening

45:15

the book by Suzanne gold is called toxic family transforming childhood trauma

45:20

into adult Freedom so I'm sure you can grab that on Amazon I think my copies

45:27

from I got it on Amazon and uh probably are you in local bookstores yet

45:33

I am okay I'm in Barnes and Noble yeah yeah yeah great so make sure you guys go

45:41

and grab that copy we have a picture of it right here for those of you who are watching this on YouTube

45:47

and so I'm sure it will help you um to her story her experience is

45:53

Susan's story and experiences will be a benefit to you right that's that's the reason why we write that's

45:59

the reason why we share uh these uh uh sort of offerings to make Humanity a

46:06

better place all right so Susan before we go right we've been gone now

46:12

for well I don't know almost an hour so I know right so before we go uh

46:20

tell us what was what are some of the other offerings that you have

46:26

um I know you are you are a triathlete um there's not a lot of folks on the

46:31

planet I don't even know what the percentages are people who are triathletes uh in in the United States

46:37

in particular but I'm sure it's not that many people who actually do that thing like you do right not only

46:44

that you are uh do you consider yourself a yogi

46:50

you know I get I get regular yoga practice it really helps me out yeah and hey for those

46:57

listening Suzanne is a world-class swimmer I said it [Laughter]

47:04

so do you incorporate any of these uh experiences into your teaching and

47:10

training and how you work with people yeah it's absolutely a piece of it

47:16

um you don't have to be an endurance athlete but it's tough and I'll just

47:23

yeah I just share the cliff notes yeah and just give you the helpful tips yeah

47:28

yeah you know Susan I just I've ran Marathon one uh very very tough for me

47:36

I'm not a small guy I'm a pretty big guy so putting that much pressure on your knees is its ankles is uh is difficult

47:43

but there was something about man I mean going through that running

47:50

for long you know hours on end there's there's there's a lot of

47:55

evolution internally going through when I first started like working up to the training process to where you actually

48:01

now out running and I found myself in a lot of ways doing

48:08

doing running like I I looked at devil in the face I don't know how many times

48:13

it's like okay you're gonna quit now you're gonna give up are you gonna you're gonna cry because your leg hurts

48:19

but I mean what are you gonna do and I kid you not every time I started running when I got

48:25

to like Mile 10 Mile nine my my right

48:30

uh IT band will start to act up on me every single time

48:37

and eventually I learned to push through it because uh prior to it to that lesson

48:44

I just stopped because I'm like I don't want to damage anything you know you know I didn't want to but I got to a

48:50

space in place in my life well my body will begin to adjust

48:55

and so and then it would just probably about mile 11 or 12 it'll go away

49:01

[Laughter] that's a great metaphor

49:07

for life don't you think it's like when you're going through this the suck when

49:12

you're going through the stuff right how many people wanna quit

49:18

right but if you can push through or or uh have people in

49:25

your life that can help aid you through that process you can come out on the other side and that's what you did did you have any

49:31

of those experiences as an athlete like where you was like okay I'm I'm about to quit and what was a mental fortitude

49:38

piece like for you well I had I had met many but what I ultimately learned was how to be

49:45

compassionate to my own being because I did push through to excess and

49:54

I was using that to numb the pain and again the universe did for me what I

50:01

could not do for myself and took it all away from me I had a serious injury that I had to contend

50:08

with and and another false Persona got Stripped Away so it's another story for another

50:15

podcast but I think that um we need to find compassion and

50:21

there's there is Merit to pushing through

50:26

but there's also Merit to finding that balance between caring for your being with

50:35

respect and pushing through standing up wow rightfully sad so what what closes

50:41

so man we walk through a lot and time goes fast when you're having fun what

50:47

are some of the closing thoughts you would share with our audience

50:52

those who are going through divorce depression maybe suicide ideation maybe

50:57

in a bad relationship uh what what what uh what were you what

51:03

can you share with them to help them to move through the pain be more

51:09

compassionate to the self instead of being compassionate to others how can you be more compassionate to the

51:15

self well first don't quit before the miracle

51:21

and hold on to that don't quit before the miracle

51:27

and then acknowledge put your hand on your heart it and acknowledge that you

51:35

are doing the very best you can In This

51:40

Moment yeah and then trust Grace is coming and

51:46

Grace is all around you well said well said my friend

51:52

well once again everyone uh this is has been a wonderful wonderful podcast with

51:59

our very special guest Suzanne go she shared a lot of great nuggets that I am

52:05

hoping that you would take advantage of not only that Suzanne's has shared uh

52:10

some resources that could benefit you you can connect with her uh through suzango.us

52:18

um or got us as she likes to say and you can also uh get her book on Amazon and

52:24

some of the major uh uh uh platforms even bookstores like Barnes and Noble

52:30

you can connect with her there you can get her stuff and you know you can go to her website Susan your website let's see uh

52:39

uh yeah there's your website there it is your website is there you guys can see

52:45

that if you're watching this on YouTube you see her website you can put your information in there magic is happening

52:51

in side so boy I am super excited that you've had to you've come by and shared

52:58

this with us Suzanne today man we got to do another podcast you think you're up for it

53:04

I think so I'd be excited yeah yeah yeah yeah I would love to to have another opportunity to connect with

53:11

you so just hold on as we uh as I round out with the guests I'll be right back